Getting the Life That You Deserve
For far too many years, I lived my life under two false beliefs. The first belief was that my environment limited my choices. The second belief was that I could change my circumstances by making a one-time decision to plunge forward. I was wrong on both counts. I eventually learned, as you will, that my choices are limited by my beliefs and actions and that my progress toward living my dreams is a daily choice rather than a declaration of purpose.
We have all listened to the promises of motivational speakers who advocate that if you decide to change, it can be accomplished. You leave their lectures pumped with enthusiasm but ill equipped to go beyond that first declaration of change. Their declarations are true, but with one very large caveat—change is a daily decision, and you need supportive tools to succeed. I have found that creative change is a daily decision that becomes a string of decisions that form years, decades, and, ultimately, your life.
Each morning, whether you like it or not, you are faced with choices that ultimately determine the outcome of your day. You make choices from the moment you open your eyes, even if you believe that you can’t possibly think before your first cup of coffee. Many people believe that they are not making any choices; they merely go through the motions of living. However, by the time you have that first cup of coffee, you may have made as many as twenty choices that will impact your day and your life.
Throughout the day, you will continue to make choices, both consciously and unconsciously. Sadly, many people believe that life offers no choice or that their choices are limited. Every moment in life reflects either a choice that has already been made or an opportunity to make a new choice. Luckily, as an adult, you are the one who gets to choose.
Confusion reigns when you consider unconscious choice as not being a choice at all. Choices made unconsciously have just as much impact as choices you have weighed and made consciously. For this article, we’ll discuss the following two choices: conscious choice and unconscious choice.
Conscious choice—You make decisions after weighing the outcome and consequences. Any possible impact on your happiness and success in life are included in the decision making process.
Unconscious choice—You make decisions in reaction to previous choices without weighing any new elements that may affect the outcome and consequences. Happiness and success in life are left to chance and to the choices made by others. Although I often use career choices as examples in this article, your life choices are not limited to career choices. Life choices are actually happiness choices. As an example, if you choose to become a hermit in the woods and it brings you happiness, do it! Backpacking across Europe is a happiness choice that has no career connections. You can choose to write poetry for your own enjoyment, or you can choose to be the best mother or father possible. The point is that you need to make a conscious choice to find your own state of happiness. You alone are responsible for finding your key to happiness and enjoyment. No other person can choose your state of bliss.
First, you must acknowledge the blessing of choice as being tantamount to success in life, since you will make choices consciously or unconsciously. The goal is to make conscious choice your impetus. As soon as you awaken each day, you can choose from three distinctly different paths that can set not only the pattern for your day, but also your feelings of happiness and success. The three paths of opportunity that await you each day are the Checkered Path, the Yellow Path, and the Green Path:
The Checkered Path: You choose not to choose. It is a choice that seems relatively low risk, but it is fraught with surprises. Why? You have given control to the forces of the universe. Your five senses are dulled, and your sixth sense is tuned to a low frequency. The only goal you have is to survive another day. There is no consistency, and those on this path tend to feel as if they are being moved along life’s journey like game pieces, subject to the whims of the other game players. People who choose the Checkered Path consistently feel like they are on a treadmill. They fear change because it represents a frightening unknown. They can look back over their lives and see very little change over the decades and very little happiness.
The Yellow Path: You choose to continue living the low-risk yesterday. Whether you lived yesterday in a state of happiness or depression, you believe that, by reliving it again today, there will be no surprises. Any fulfillment you experience is fleeting because there is no real pattern or goal for the choices you make. Your sixth sense is tuned to a higher frequency, but you often choose to ignore feelings that can be categorized as gut feelings or intuition. You’re stuck in a rut of your own making. Yellow is the color of caution, patience, and lack of courage. This path is yellow because the people who choose this path fear change, momentum, and decisions. They make choices consciously, but weigh the consequences in a state of fear. People who choose the Yellow Path can look back over their lives and see moments of happiness. Only after careful review do they realize that those moments of happiness occurred when they made conscious choices to be happy, such as taking vacations, going to concerts, or making unusual purchases. Remember, life is too short to live the same day twice!
The Green Path: You choose to live a life of purpose. You make choices with your eyes on a specific goal. You weigh your choices for their effect on tomorrow’s goals. It may seem extremely risky, but it is not. You are making choices based on your vision, and you have weighed the risks. Happiness is part of the goal and is attainable. Your sixth sense is highly tuned, and you pay attention to random events. Choices made on this path lead to mounting satisfaction. We call people who choose the Green Path achievers. They know where they are going, and they have some idea of how to get there. These are the people who circumvent the situations into which they were born. Their happiness in life outweighs their unhappiness.
Life and happiness choices are not limited to career choices. While it is true that, in certain situations, a career choice can dictate happiness, there are other situations in which career choice breeds discontent. I have chosen to be a writer and inspirational speaker after many other career choices. I find happiness in writing and speaking. That happiness makes me a better wife, mother, and friend. On the other hand, there are people who write for a living who dread every assigned interview. They remain on the same old treadmill for many reasons, including a desire for a pension, a lack of incentive to change careers, or a fear of starting over. Their unhappiness at work impacts their other roles in life.
I lived my life cautiously, choosing to walk the first two paths for decades. I believed that if I was a good person, life would reward me—I only had to wait for the opportunity to show itself.
When opportunity knocked, I allowed self-defeating habits and people to keep me from answering the call. Once I chose the Green Path consistently from day to day, my life took on new meaning and the universe opened doors for me and I entered. No one lives on the Green Path every day. You will spend random days on the Yellow or Checkered Paths. This becomes a problem only when you remain on either the Yellow or Checkered Path long enough to establish a pattern of thinking that no longer supports your dreams. I have spent most of my life on the Yellow Path, fearing change and fearing success. Choosing the Green Path daily required a change in my thinking patterns. You too can choose the Green Path. You need a certain tool set to help you reverse your old thinking patterns. Your inability to make good, conscious choices is often blocked by negative thinking, negative people and negative actions in your life. Choosing the Green Path on a daily basis requires confronting and conquering self-defeating roadblocks that are blocking your progress. Embrace the blessing of choice. What choice do you have? All of the choices in the world.
Sherry D. Ransom is a writer and professional speaker who challenges her audiences to live the lives of their deepest desires. Her critically acclaimed book, Three Paths, Three Choices – Getting the Life That You Deserve is the impetus for her presentations and workshops. Visit her website, www.sherryransom.com to check her calendar or to read more articles.